Hey guys.
So it's now the Christmas break and well...the social life is dead (it only came back after a week or two yesterday after I finished my media law). Anyway today has been a pretty long day to be honest, with a detour to Cardiff on the way back to Shotingham...a place that to be fair, is totally not me! But I've been thinking how life isn't simple. Now I must explain, I don't really seem to be that much of a positive person in Nottingham, like the attitude kinda changes. It's like here I know nobody and have a lot of time to ponder. And well with the rest of today as well...I really have had a lot to ponder.
1. Moving
One thing I've hated through my life, is leaving friends behind. To be fair when we first moved to the Isle Of Man I was four. Anyone knows that at four you're not going to really understand the concept. I just knew we were moving to an Island where I was gonna go to school as Dad had got a job there. And to be honest, unlike anywhere we have been before, Redruth and Cornwall that, as a family, there are links that mean that these places are visited still. Unfortunately, that is not such the case from that point. I mean we moved to Cambridge where I had a pretty great batch of friends through year 5 and 6 and well, now I may have one or two on Facebook or follow them on Twitter or Instagram. I don't talk to them and I've only been back to Cambridge two or three times since and I've not seen any of them in any visit. The Isle of Man I've seen less of since, we went back once. Again my contact with all of my friends there seemed to die. I wish I still had contact with both groups of friends, but in reality, when you're that young and before even video messaging. You want to go out with your friends have a laugh with your friends, not compose an email or MSN with them. It's not fun at 11. To be fair it's not really fun at 18 or 20 but I guess now, like with friends from Bideford, especially +Ryan I get to like play games and voice chat. But that brings me onto my worst move. Like obviously now when I move I fear losing contact more nowadays, because of the Isle of Man and Cambridge, especially when it's hundreds of miles. So moving to Nottingham was a nightmare.
When you spend 7 years making an extensive group of friends and you're forced to just walk away from them, when you've lost all friends like that before AND when you're 18 and meant to be having some of the best times of your life, it's quite bluntly shit. Like, you know some you will lose, because when you have a fairly large load of friends, you can't just Facebook or Tweet every single one regularly. You only keep your closest. Which is rubbish when you think if you still lived there you'd still have the more peripheral friends, because those people have a positive impact. You lose a number of them and that's a big thing. It's horrible. I can name to you a list of people that due to moving I have no real contact with who I would still like to have contact with.
And now my parents are probably moving to Cardiff (leads well to the next subject :L) so once again I'll be moving. And well it means less to me this time, a lot less, because I haven't really made friends in Nottingham (another subject I'll get too) and by all accounts, I'm a southerner.
2. Relationships
Not exactly the most prime concern in the world. It's probably more my idiocy with them. I'm more frustrated by the way like you can't really pick and choose who you like. And what if you don't stop liking them? What if you see a chance? It's more the confusion in not knowing what the bloody hell to do with it. Like I've been single since June 2012 and since then has a girl who really interests me come along? No. It's kinda shit this one because I don't even know what to say or how to put this on paper. Living in the same city as the girl who I was last in a relationship with is something that would be interesting. Even now it's just a difficult subject. I'd like the right chance to come along generally. It isn't in Nottingham and I would say it isn't in Plymouth really. To be honest this is a subject where really I'm mindfucked. Don't even know what to do in this subject. It frustrates me. But there's nothing I can do about it.
3. Friends where there is no school/uni and no jobs.
Okay, to an extent this one could be argued to be a fairly big one. I spend most of my year at Uni, which is awesome. I live in a house with my best Uni friends on the whole. And well it's great. But like whereas people go back to where they went to school, I don't. I never went to school in Nottingham. Never set foot in a school in Nottingham. I've applied for countless jobs, but there hasn't been a proper job. ASDA seem to essentially employ family members of it's current staff I swear and besides, due to cuts loads of people who probably had better jobs beforehand now have to work in these places. There is nothing for a student to do here unless you want to knock door to door for a charity getting abuse shouted in your face (I tried, but I got to a point I was going to shout back at the next dickhead who came up with abuse, plus it was pay per sign up. People don't generally want to sign up to direct debit £10 a month to a charity at the moment! Overall it was a humiliating form of job). Therefore I don't get a social life. And yes, my parents are good and all that, but you can't spend all day every day with the same people, same interests etc. It just doesn't work. I get bored. Then I ponder. Then I feel shit. It's how I work. To be honest, it's how I feel right now.
So yeah, basically, if 2014 could like make itself simple. I'd be bloody grateful. If the end of 2013 would sort itself out to give the year a bit more of a positive edge after a pretty negative 2012 as well I'd also appreciate it yeah? So if there is a factor in making fate, please, positive? From now?
So yeah, comment below with thoughts, I'll admit in areas I've kept vague and some people may know more than others, so if you are a close friend and want to comment I ask you to respect that.
Thanks
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Friday, 13 December 2013
Monday, 29 July 2013
Things I'd Tell My Teenage Self: Part 1
Okay guys, so earlier on +Danièlle Owen posted about the things she would tell her teenage self. She also included that I would do this from a male viewpoint. So here I am. Like her blog for the female viewer my post's will analyse items such as relationships, money, friends and family as well as others that are more unique to my teenage self. Obviously some of you reading may be teenagers, some will be older. If you have an points about the post that I write please send a tweet to (@totalJPM) or use the hashtag #JPMTeenSelf. So yeah here we go!
Relationships and Girls
Yeah obviously a big one to write about first haha. And to be fair, not even the me now could claim to be anything close to an expert on either of these. However I did have a close to 3 year relationship in my teens. I don't really know what to think about this nowadays really, like would I change stuff? Yes. But I guess there were the best and worst moments in hindsight. I know I would say to my teenage self "Don't be taken as a fool by a girl", as well maybe if I didn't have an element of naivety then I would have definitely noticed the end. It's important to not be naive, things can be great for 18 months, then something can ruin them, especially such things as lies. Trusting after the other has done whatever is incredibly hard, it's probably over from there in reality. Unless you can be a very forgetful person just to try to keep the relationship. Although back then it must have been the fact of really wanting it, really liking the person and therefore being willing to try to forgive.
I'd probably also tell myself that, hey, a relationship ending isn't the end of the world, it may seem like that initially, but it isn't. The single life is free and provides different opportunities and can save money as well! To be honest going the seperate ways and then looking back at the person also showed me how much they changed. I don't think I've changed (you'd have to ask my friends in the past 12 months if I've changed!) but she certainly has. Just wouldn't have been interested at all if we had a conversation for the first time now.
I'd also tell my teenage self here, that there is no rush. Life comes at you and shit happens. You learn from it. You don't need to run from one relationship and jump into another. Hell no, take a step back look at it, the good and the bad and take something from it. Probably should tell the person you're in a relationship with to log off Facebook on your iPod...especially if they're sending sexual messages to someone from the United States (or anywhere else, but in this case...yeah). Probably should stop here with this....
To be fair, regarding relationships, you probably have to go through the shit to find the green grass at the end of the road and that right relationship!
Money
Haha, what a subject. Well Uni has told me a lot about conserving money and budgeting. I think simply with money, it's just learning the value of it. I mean for instance before Uni you go out and £4 for a pint of Brothers Cider at Crabby Dicks in Bideford seems okay. Then you go to Uni and live under a budget and you think "wow this is a fair bit, I could buy lunch with this" until you're really drunk. I used to be way happier buying any skint friend a drink or something, now that isn't so much the case. I would say use money sparingly. Yes buy friends stuff, not every time though. I dunno, I also would buy pointless goods. So I would say think twice. Budget yourself. Don't take a card on a night out, you'll be an idiot. C103 last freshers proved that when I took out an extra £30 in there paying a fee of £1.75 to use that machine. And I soberly refuse to use them. Mind you that was an exceptionally drunk night!
So really, I'd say budget, there's always a goal, a big event. You don't wanna miss it!
Friends
This is one place where I don't think I've went too wrong. I mean at school I was in W1 where essentially I was in a friend group. Unfortunately some have gone their ways and we've lost contact. I mean James Ellis, where are you now mate? Then there's some which I clearly barely see because of moving after my A Level results, despite this I would still regard them as good friends if we met up.
I also am lucky enough to have one friend who comes down to visit me when I'm at Uni +Ryan Steppel as well as Craig who I get on better with at Uni than I did at school! Pretty awesome mates. I also have Elliot who goes to the same Uni from my school, still good friends. These are people I feel lucky to have, as these people I have been friends with as we've all matured from GCSE students all the way to...well, adults. Student adults, but adults. I've also done really well at Uni with friends. A base of friends who I am living with next year (plus ones that will essentially live with us, by that I mean Vikki and Milky....again) that are all individually amazing in their own ways is really a great marker! I mean I feel lucky to have met all of these people and that I really hit the nail on the head when it came to friends in the majority of cases. I don't really like to group these people. I've found that in general with these friends, each one is a great friend for a different reason, each friendship was formed in many ways, half of them wouldn't have happened without one of the other friendships. Sometimes though I feel they may know me better than me! Which can be a tad worrying guys ;).
I will briefly say about the 10% I get wrong. These are generally people with a lack of ambition, a lack of attitude, generally quite negative about their prospects and not willing to help other friends at a small cost. There are people reading this knowing I could be meaning them, or feeling they're so perfect in a world that really is their own little bubble. That bubble might be Xbox Live or whatever it is.
I'd like to elaborate on the negative about prospects. Many of you will think I'm a negative person and yes, to a degree you are right. I shout my opinions out loud, I am not one who will sit back at something that annoys me or something that has angered me and stay quiet. That can be football or a cult like Beliebers, it could be David Cameron's next stupid idea, however the point being, I will say my opinion. This is not what I regard as negative, I regard this as opinionated. If something pleases me I will also say it. Sometimes I will only say it for the reaction! Negative attitude or negative about prospects regards those who are quitters, those that don't have the ambition to do well but the ambition to just stay in the same place doing sufficiently.
An example could be a placement year at Uni. Don't just apply for where you live if you live in a small town with little prospect. Reach out. Go and at least attempt to get something that is ambitious. Otherwise why are you at Uni. You have no ambition, go back home. It irritates me. I don't get this chance with my degree, so I'd like to see those who do take it, it shows ambition, pride, an attitude and I respect this and therefore would find it easier to be a friend. My teenage self had some of these friends. I don't really know what I've done wrong in the year but they have got to the point where they have decided not to reply to me even on their world (the gaming networks). They do of course like to try to put down those who are more ambitious than them, to a point that insulted me and the people involved. This happened over years in honesty to different people. However I have kept the friendships that mean something to me.
However I'd say regarding friendships, my friendship with +Ryan Steppel was the start of the me that showed ambition, pride and the attributes I have mentioned mainly because it is a friendship of two big personalities with a get up and go, an ambition and some drive. I would say before some of my friendships were settled, especially with those that shared my initials. It doesn't bother me now. As since the friendship with the Milky Bar Kid I've also made some equally awesome friends who also share the attributes that make them ideal friends, best bit is, I live with some from September!
Anyway, I shall post Part 2 in the next few days depending on work! So cya guys later!!!!
Relationships and Girls
Yeah obviously a big one to write about first haha. And to be fair, not even the me now could claim to be anything close to an expert on either of these. However I did have a close to 3 year relationship in my teens. I don't really know what to think about this nowadays really, like would I change stuff? Yes. But I guess there were the best and worst moments in hindsight. I know I would say to my teenage self "Don't be taken as a fool by a girl", as well maybe if I didn't have an element of naivety then I would have definitely noticed the end. It's important to not be naive, things can be great for 18 months, then something can ruin them, especially such things as lies. Trusting after the other has done whatever is incredibly hard, it's probably over from there in reality. Unless you can be a very forgetful person just to try to keep the relationship. Although back then it must have been the fact of really wanting it, really liking the person and therefore being willing to try to forgive.
I'd probably also tell myself that, hey, a relationship ending isn't the end of the world, it may seem like that initially, but it isn't. The single life is free and provides different opportunities and can save money as well! To be honest going the seperate ways and then looking back at the person also showed me how much they changed. I don't think I've changed (you'd have to ask my friends in the past 12 months if I've changed!) but she certainly has. Just wouldn't have been interested at all if we had a conversation for the first time now.
I'd also tell my teenage self here, that there is no rush. Life comes at you and shit happens. You learn from it. You don't need to run from one relationship and jump into another. Hell no, take a step back look at it, the good and the bad and take something from it. Probably should tell the person you're in a relationship with to log off Facebook on your iPod...especially if they're sending sexual messages to someone from the United States (or anywhere else, but in this case...yeah). Probably should stop here with this....
To be fair, regarding relationships, you probably have to go through the shit to find the green grass at the end of the road and that right relationship!
Money
Haha, what a subject. Well Uni has told me a lot about conserving money and budgeting. I think simply with money, it's just learning the value of it. I mean for instance before Uni you go out and £4 for a pint of Brothers Cider at Crabby Dicks in Bideford seems okay. Then you go to Uni and live under a budget and you think "wow this is a fair bit, I could buy lunch with this" until you're really drunk. I used to be way happier buying any skint friend a drink or something, now that isn't so much the case. I would say use money sparingly. Yes buy friends stuff, not every time though. I dunno, I also would buy pointless goods. So I would say think twice. Budget yourself. Don't take a card on a night out, you'll be an idiot. C103 last freshers proved that when I took out an extra £30 in there paying a fee of £1.75 to use that machine. And I soberly refuse to use them. Mind you that was an exceptionally drunk night!
So really, I'd say budget, there's always a goal, a big event. You don't wanna miss it!
Friends
This is one place where I don't think I've went too wrong. I mean at school I was in W1 where essentially I was in a friend group. Unfortunately some have gone their ways and we've lost contact. I mean James Ellis, where are you now mate? Then there's some which I clearly barely see because of moving after my A Level results, despite this I would still regard them as good friends if we met up.
I also am lucky enough to have one friend who comes down to visit me when I'm at Uni +Ryan Steppel as well as Craig who I get on better with at Uni than I did at school! Pretty awesome mates. I also have Elliot who goes to the same Uni from my school, still good friends. These are people I feel lucky to have, as these people I have been friends with as we've all matured from GCSE students all the way to...well, adults. Student adults, but adults. I've also done really well at Uni with friends. A base of friends who I am living with next year (plus ones that will essentially live with us, by that I mean Vikki and Milky....again) that are all individually amazing in their own ways is really a great marker! I mean I feel lucky to have met all of these people and that I really hit the nail on the head when it came to friends in the majority of cases. I don't really like to group these people. I've found that in general with these friends, each one is a great friend for a different reason, each friendship was formed in many ways, half of them wouldn't have happened without one of the other friendships. Sometimes though I feel they may know me better than me! Which can be a tad worrying guys ;).
I will briefly say about the 10% I get wrong. These are generally people with a lack of ambition, a lack of attitude, generally quite negative about their prospects and not willing to help other friends at a small cost. There are people reading this knowing I could be meaning them, or feeling they're so perfect in a world that really is their own little bubble. That bubble might be Xbox Live or whatever it is.
I'd like to elaborate on the negative about prospects. Many of you will think I'm a negative person and yes, to a degree you are right. I shout my opinions out loud, I am not one who will sit back at something that annoys me or something that has angered me and stay quiet. That can be football or a cult like Beliebers, it could be David Cameron's next stupid idea, however the point being, I will say my opinion. This is not what I regard as negative, I regard this as opinionated. If something pleases me I will also say it. Sometimes I will only say it for the reaction! Negative attitude or negative about prospects regards those who are quitters, those that don't have the ambition to do well but the ambition to just stay in the same place doing sufficiently.
An example could be a placement year at Uni. Don't just apply for where you live if you live in a small town with little prospect. Reach out. Go and at least attempt to get something that is ambitious. Otherwise why are you at Uni. You have no ambition, go back home. It irritates me. I don't get this chance with my degree, so I'd like to see those who do take it, it shows ambition, pride, an attitude and I respect this and therefore would find it easier to be a friend. My teenage self had some of these friends. I don't really know what I've done wrong in the year but they have got to the point where they have decided not to reply to me even on their world (the gaming networks). They do of course like to try to put down those who are more ambitious than them, to a point that insulted me and the people involved. This happened over years in honesty to different people. However I have kept the friendships that mean something to me.
However I'd say regarding friendships, my friendship with +Ryan Steppel was the start of the me that showed ambition, pride and the attributes I have mentioned mainly because it is a friendship of two big personalities with a get up and go, an ambition and some drive. I would say before some of my friendships were settled, especially with those that shared my initials. It doesn't bother me now. As since the friendship with the Milky Bar Kid I've also made some equally awesome friends who also share the attributes that make them ideal friends, best bit is, I live with some from September!
Anyway, I shall post Part 2 in the next few days depending on work! So cya guys later!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)