Hey guys.
So it's now the Christmas break and well...the social life is dead (it only came back after a week or two yesterday after I finished my media law). Anyway today has been a pretty long day to be honest, with a detour to Cardiff on the way back to Shotingham...a place that to be fair, is totally not me! But I've been thinking how life isn't simple. Now I must explain, I don't really seem to be that much of a positive person in Nottingham, like the attitude kinda changes. It's like here I know nobody and have a lot of time to ponder. And well with the rest of today as well...I really have had a lot to ponder.
1. Moving
One thing I've hated through my life, is leaving friends behind. To be fair when we first moved to the Isle Of Man I was four. Anyone knows that at four you're not going to really understand the concept. I just knew we were moving to an Island where I was gonna go to school as Dad had got a job there. And to be honest, unlike anywhere we have been before, Redruth and Cornwall that, as a family, there are links that mean that these places are visited still. Unfortunately, that is not such the case from that point. I mean we moved to Cambridge where I had a pretty great batch of friends through year 5 and 6 and well, now I may have one or two on Facebook or follow them on Twitter or Instagram. I don't talk to them and I've only been back to Cambridge two or three times since and I've not seen any of them in any visit. The Isle of Man I've seen less of since, we went back once. Again my contact with all of my friends there seemed to die. I wish I still had contact with both groups of friends, but in reality, when you're that young and before even video messaging. You want to go out with your friends have a laugh with your friends, not compose an email or MSN with them. It's not fun at 11. To be fair it's not really fun at 18 or 20 but I guess now, like with friends from Bideford, especially +Ryan I get to like play games and voice chat. But that brings me onto my worst move. Like obviously now when I move I fear losing contact more nowadays, because of the Isle of Man and Cambridge, especially when it's hundreds of miles. So moving to Nottingham was a nightmare.
When you spend 7 years making an extensive group of friends and you're forced to just walk away from them, when you've lost all friends like that before AND when you're 18 and meant to be having some of the best times of your life, it's quite bluntly shit. Like, you know some you will lose, because when you have a fairly large load of friends, you can't just Facebook or Tweet every single one regularly. You only keep your closest. Which is rubbish when you think if you still lived there you'd still have the more peripheral friends, because those people have a positive impact. You lose a number of them and that's a big thing. It's horrible. I can name to you a list of people that due to moving I have no real contact with who I would still like to have contact with.
And now my parents are probably moving to Cardiff (leads well to the next subject :L) so once again I'll be moving. And well it means less to me this time, a lot less, because I haven't really made friends in Nottingham (another subject I'll get too) and by all accounts, I'm a southerner.
2. Relationships
Not exactly the most prime concern in the world. It's probably more my idiocy with them. I'm more frustrated by the way like you can't really pick and choose who you like. And what if you don't stop liking them? What if you see a chance? It's more the confusion in not knowing what the bloody hell to do with it. Like I've been single since June 2012 and since then has a girl who really interests me come along? No. It's kinda shit this one because I don't even know what to say or how to put this on paper. Living in the same city as the girl who I was last in a relationship with is something that would be interesting. Even now it's just a difficult subject. I'd like the right chance to come along generally. It isn't in Nottingham and I would say it isn't in Plymouth really. To be honest this is a subject where really I'm mindfucked. Don't even know what to do in this subject. It frustrates me. But there's nothing I can do about it.
3. Friends where there is no school/uni and no jobs.
Okay, to an extent this one could be argued to be a fairly big one. I spend most of my year at Uni, which is awesome. I live in a house with my best Uni friends on the whole. And well it's great. But like whereas people go back to where they went to school, I don't. I never went to school in Nottingham. Never set foot in a school in Nottingham. I've applied for countless jobs, but there hasn't been a proper job. ASDA seem to essentially employ family members of it's current staff I swear and besides, due to cuts loads of people who probably had better jobs beforehand now have to work in these places. There is nothing for a student to do here unless you want to knock door to door for a charity getting abuse shouted in your face (I tried, but I got to a point I was going to shout back at the next dickhead who came up with abuse, plus it was pay per sign up. People don't generally want to sign up to direct debit £10 a month to a charity at the moment! Overall it was a humiliating form of job). Therefore I don't get a social life. And yes, my parents are good and all that, but you can't spend all day every day with the same people, same interests etc. It just doesn't work. I get bored. Then I ponder. Then I feel shit. It's how I work. To be honest, it's how I feel right now.
So yeah, basically, if 2014 could like make itself simple. I'd be bloody grateful. If the end of 2013 would sort itself out to give the year a bit more of a positive edge after a pretty negative 2012 as well I'd also appreciate it yeah? So if there is a factor in making fate, please, positive? From now?
So yeah, comment below with thoughts, I'll admit in areas I've kept vague and some people may know more than others, so if you are a close friend and want to comment I ask you to respect that.
Thanks
